Why are so
many people on Tinder? Sex. Pure and simple. Not that everyone would admit to
that of course: according to the Big Tinder Project carried out in 2015 there
are no less than thirteen different motives for people being on Tinder, with
the most popular being amusement. The rest ranged from curiosity, to an ego
boost, socializing and even finding love came in at number four. Casual sex
only ranked at number eleven. But if we really explore the desires behind these
reasons they all stem from the same basic need: to enjoy attention from someone
of your preferred sexual orientation. It may be true that not all flirting
leads to intercourse, but no one could deny the kick we get out of interacting
with someone we find sexually attractive. Because if it was our conversation we
wanted to be stimulating, we would just talk to our friends right?
Recent data
has revealed that Tinder has 57 million users across the globe, is available in
40 languages and is accessible in 190 countries. It processes over one billion
swipes per day and Tinder users go on one million dates every week. No one
could convince me that every single one of those dates will lead to a loving
relationship, or that even 10% of them will. Tinder is so prolific because it
has successfully combined the most primal human desire with the convenience and
range of options that combing the city streets and bars after nightfall can’t
really manage. Take nightclubbing as an example of Tinder in real life – young
people hit the club with their friends claiming they want to have a few drinks,
have a bit of dance and just let their hair down. It is rarely admitted,
especially by women, that they are there because they want to pick someone up.
So why do we all make so much effort to look good when we go out? It is hard to
make a deep meaningful connection with someone in a sweaty nightclub with
pounding music and dim lighting, just as it is talking to someone online
without seeing them face to face. In both instances people put on a desirable
physical façade because they know that is what everyone else is looking for, in
other words they want to create and feel sexual attraction.
Tinder has
allowed the population something which for so long was not possible; sex on
tap, without fear of serious recrimination. It has been argued that men are
more into these casual encounters than women, heralding the stereotype that men
only want sex whereas women are always on the lookout for love and commitment.
While it may be true that Tinder has more male users than female ones, and that
91% of women claimed that they only swiped right on profiles they were truly
attracted to in comparison with 72% of men, one only has to look at the TV
shows being made now and the songs currently high up in the charts to see that
women are similarly obsessed with sex. There is no longer so much shame and
stigma attached to female sexuality, and the Tinder craze is clear evidence
that they are providing a much sought-after service. Plus, one has to consider
that this aforementioned shame could be why certain women feel they have to be
legitimately interested in their Tinder matches and still struggle to admit
that they just want to have sex. Perhaps being able to swipe freely will be the
liberation we have craved for so long.
Tinder’s
biggest critics have called it the end of intimacy and decry the lack of real
physical connection in modern relationships. But who really cares if it is? Courting
and marriage back in the good old days was hardly the chivalrous display of
sentiment and romance we have been led to believe. A few decades ago boy met
girl, the onus was on him to ask her out on a date, and then a few weeks he
would inevitably have to pop the question, if only out of sheer desperation to
get his leg over. She would have little choice but to accept (because God
forbid she might get left on the shelf and become an embittered old spinster),
they got married and would have to stay together until one of them died. Divorce
was inaccessible unless you were rich, and woe betide you if you fell pregnant
out of wedlock. Call me cynical, but what about this is better than being able
to try before you buy, so to speak? Dating apps are representative of a new
kind of freedom that changing societal attitudes and advancing technology have
granted the younger generations. The shackles of propriety have officially been
vanquished and people can live the life they choose, regardless of sexual
orientation or feeling pressurised by old fashioned gender norms. Of course
people may look for something more serious on these apps, but love is often an
accidental by-product of these hook ups. And why does that matter really? What
is about having consensual intimate relations with a number of different people
that is inherently worse than feeling obligated to marry someone just because
you saw them naked?
What this
argument essentially boils down to is two of the biggest drivers of humanity:
sex and money. Being able to get one without having to let go of a large amount
of the other seems like a pretty sweet deal. Ultimately that is why people use
Tinder and others of its ilk – it really is a tale as old as time. Our
motivations are often simplistic and swiping right gives us the same thrill we
experience when we get paid or promoted. It’s instant gratification with a
satisfying pay off, and I for one cannot envision a day when this will no
longer be popular.
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